My will was not enough. I held out for two hours. but at 6pm it took me and I lay on the floor aware but unable to move, not breathing as well as I should. I knew they were looking for me, that my client was waiting. We, my internal voice and I, went round and round before it took me. I keep talking to it hoping to distract it. It kept talking to me telling me I had to give in, that I couldn't resist. several times it nearly came and somehow I stopped it. finally we were nearly yelling at each other. I said, "not unless you take me by force!" it said, "fine" and then I collapsed.
Wednesday, July 10, 2002