today at work I had an internal conversation with myself.
"it is coming"
"now is not a good time"
"it is starting"
"I don't want it to start"
"you should give in to prevent the pain"
"I should resist to prevent the confusion"
"you should give out and let it come"
"they do not need to know"
"you should give in here and now, there is logic to it and help immediatley"
"they do not need to know, it doesn't need to happen"
"it can take you over by force"
"It can wait"
"now is a good time"
"I will not go"
"you may not have a choice"
"I will not go, not willingly"
"if you give in now you would fall safetly, with the least amount of damage done"
"if I give in now it makes a big mess of confusion and explaining"
"if you give in now you will not have to face the weekend"
"if I give in now I will miss the fun"
"let it happen"
"not willingly"
It did not come, but it is always there and will not leave. Not until I let it come and let it go.

   [ POSTED BY Penelope @ 10:30 PM ] [ ]