ah I have been sucessful at avoidance. I have nearly avoided life in general. I have been able to reduce myself to not having feelings, or at least being able to not acknowledge them. However in that process I have lost something signifigant, and gained the greatest muse yet. odd how life works that way. would I be able to continue with what I have started if I were to loose this muse? and if I do not loose this muse will I loose that which I can no longer see with out feeling? will all that work have been in vain? ah the quandry of it all.