so here it is, another day in which the revelations of my new life are thrust violently into my face. My mind longs for activity and adventure and the never ending concorse of activites, my body can not handle activity, it wants the quiet days in which I do little. and whenever I do what is good for one it is damaging to the other. My mind and body seem to be diametricly opposed. assuming that this weekends huge amount of activity with little to no emphasis on sleep or food has anything to do with the "episodes" is almost hard to imagine not doing as today I have ruined the record and been in that state of body twice and I still feel as if it is comming to seek it's revenge on my very hopes of ever living like I did before. The fatigue that seems to rest inside my bones itself is overwhelming and while laying on the floor I strive to even imagine moving, the fibers that make up each muscle seem to have given out and movement is unobtainable. I need to go rest again.
Sunday, August 25, 2002