There's noone like you. You rip my heart out more often than I can even offer it, and yet in my arrogant ignorance I offer it again and again trying, begging to make amends. So I have never gotton on my knees and appologised for trying my best when I had no idea how to tell you how I felt without hurting you. I didn't know. And I'm not sorry for giving you all I could at that time, what I am sorry for is not knowing how to do it right. You yourself has stated how it has given you precious knowledge and wisdom that you could never have gained otherwise. And I have tryed so hard to make amends. To start anew. Giving out my heart in a guesture of honest friendship hoping for nothing more than your willingness to once again be my friend. All you do is take that guesture and hurt me. The pain is unbearable and yet I walk into that wall, knowing it will pummel me. I continue to think that maybe this time it won't be there, that it won't hurt. I never walk around it, always right into it. Unlike anyone else, you can make my tears fall so easily. I'm sure I'll try again. I'm sure I'll be hurt again. It's a cycle unending. I have gained so much from you. I honestly admire you. I honestly adore you. And my heart honestly breaks wishing.
Friday, September 13, 2002