ouch. my heart hurts, and I run the range of grief to know what to do, I want to not belive it. over and over I say you are too strong you have come too far, and then I curse myself out for having put you in that situation, haveing torn you away from something bad only to put you in something worse. then I curse you out for fucking up the opprotunity and the funding and the hope. And then I think about going there to kick your butt, but I know it won't help. It has to be your desicion. I just wish it didn't hurt so much to watch you make the mistakes you swore to never make. I love you, Wish I could tell you.
Sunday, November 03, 2002