Once in a while I find myself struck into a near trance by things that are familiar, something that momentarily reminds of things I know only on a subconcious level. I can't place them, but I stand suspended in a silence of my mind for that brief second as if I know something.
It's almost as if something truely spectacular has happened to me and that memory has been erased, every bit of it filed away in a recess so far back they can not be retrived, except on rare occasions when I can just catch the glimmer of an edge to know there is something there but not even the faintest outline of what it is. Some grand adventure played out with myself in a pivital role as a dynamic charictor who knows nothing of what took place to make that change. It would probably make a grand book, the charictor a happy ever smiling well balanced person who is suddenly ripped away from the inside out, forever changed in an adventure of epic porportions who's memory has been altered and she has to slowly uncover the truth behind all that she believes and the lifetime she lived in only a few days. oh wait, it does make a good book I've read a million of them, and seen just as many movies. the problem with this one is there is no way for me to read ahead to the point where I know what happened. All I can do is wait and hope the author let's me in on some of it. perhaps some foreshadowing would be . . . shit, all the foreshadowing in the world can't prepair you. In a book you can see the foreshadowing clear as day because only the parts relevant to the story are written, foreshadowing is merely the things we look back on and say "I should have seen that" and the truth is you did see it, you just didn't place it as relevant to unbelievable unpredictable events that by some chance in ten million may hit you. it's hindesight. There is always hindesight, and I guess that's why most books are written in past tense, because it's really hard to have any hind sight untill after the events. even if you feel the foreboding, the itch of trouble, you shug it off because those who trust what can not be proven are taken for fools, or paranoid dellusionists which makes returing to that semblance of order, normalacy, and what we call daily life nearly impossible. foreshadowing is really only good for telling the story afterwords, not really all that good at helping you avoid or prepair.
Tuesday, December 10, 2002