I started this blog to keep track of the times when I had those mysterious episodes of extreme muscle fatigue and/or feeling paralyzed. I haven't done a good job of keeping up with that. For a while I allowed my deeper fears, my inner medical terror to show up here and in doing so I showed my soul, bared it for the whole net to see, but then I shared it and in sharing it I learned I had to censor what I say because people misread it or they use it against you and I began to say vague things of what I really meant then I began to quote others so that I wouldn't have to say it, so it wouldn't be my thought, and then I began to just not say anything at all.
I like the way I express myself when it's true, real, the inner workings of my soul. The problem is I'm terrified to show that to anyone, myself included.
Wednesday, October 27, 2004