Ever had the sneaking suspicion there was something really wrong, but not done what you should about it because you don't want the inconvience when you can just wait till morning and even then they may not find it unless you push, but you don't want to push because you don't want anything to be wrong?
You are focused on learning the satisfactions to be found in the material world. The Life Path 8 produces many powerful, confident and materially successful people. You are apt to be very independent, forceful and competitive.
Your routine is involved in practical, down-to-earth affairs, and there is relatively little time for dreams and visions. You will want to use your ambitions, your organizational ability, and your efficient approach to carve a satisfying niche for yourself. Most of your concerns involve money and learning of the power that comes with its proper manipulation.
This Life Path is perhaps the one that is the most concerned with and desirous of status, as an accompaniment to material success. You are endowed with tremendous potential for conceiving far-reaching schemes and ideas. You also possess the tenacity and independence to follow them through to completion. In short, you are well-equipped for competition in the business world or in other competitive fields of endeavor.
You know how to manage yourself and your environment. You are practical and steady in your pursuit of major objectives, and you have the courage of your convictions when it comes to taking the necessary chances to get ahead.
The negative 8 can be dictatorial and often suppresses the enthusiasm and efforts of fellow member of the environment. Often, the strength of their own personality excludes close feelings for other people with whom they come in contact. Material gains and rewards often become issues of utmost importance, even to the neglect of family, home and peace of mind. Dedication to success can become an obsession. Emotional feelings are often suppressed by the negative 8, resulting in isolation and loneliness. All Life Path 8 people must avoid discounting the opinions of others.
I don't want to sound horrifingly dissapointed, but I am. I absolutley refuse to admit that I want to throw things, that i want to hit things, that I want to lay down and cry till it all goes away. I'm too strong for that. I can find the silver lining. It's there. There's always one and I can not only find it but thrive on it.
generally I can roll with the punches. I guess I even sort of knew there was something comming, but I had no idea what it would be and I was still in that "oh it's just a pulled muscle it'll go away in a day" phase. I had every intention of taking these wonderful days and heading home with them. I had a lot of fun shopping after the biopsy. I felt great even with new holes poked in me. Today I dressed up, felt like a million bucks, with the perfect hair, the perfect outfit, the perfect light makeup, and to top it all off I found one of those little rubber bracelets that was giving to a transplant foundation, in a color I like. We were all checked out, I was already thinking ahead to picking up my beautiful child and snuggling him till he fell asleep, then I had intentions to use the new sexy outfit and sexy look to it's full advantage. Alas not this week. This week there will be not point in dressing up, no point in going out, just drugs, that's all it will be.
I can't live forever like I'm sick. I know I'm suposed to move on do things with my life, but everytime I try, everytime I get really attached and connected and commited to being somewhere and doing something it comes back and bites me in the ass, has to point out that it still runs my life, that I don't have any control, not the way I want to have control, not the way others have control. I have to drop everything, I have to drop everything last second to do an entire week of medical care, like it's my real job and everything else I do in life is just a hobby during my spare time. F**King medical shit. when do I get to move on?
Smile, maybe no one will no one will notice . . . that I'm wearing the same clothes today AGAIN, because well. . . . they are really the only pair of pants I have that fit.
Wednesday, April 27, 2005