Well. . . here I am again. Frightened as usual. Aware, but only of a vague impending doom. I see the signs, I feel the symptoms, I cry for help. . . but noone seems to hear. It's only a shadow of a thought that crosses someone's mind. No one symptom is strong enough to mean anything, it's like a single ant crawling it's way up your leg, tickling the sences, but almost completley unnoticed. One ant is nothing, two ants are nothing, three you can brush away and forget, but they keep comming no matter how many I brush away more come, faster, closer together, like a bad video game that you cannot defeat although the premise is almost childlike in it's simplicity.
my prodoctivity has stoped, my body retains that which it cannot use and I suffer in silent encompassing fear. . . the darkness encloses.
Wednesday, February 11, 2004